I know only three weeks ago I said Wednesday would be my blog day and already I'm a day behind. Yesterday was very much a mental health day. That said, I'm tired, in need of caffeine and almost ready to face the day right now.
I honestly do not have much to talk about at the moment so this may read more like a diary entry. I did message someone the other day about publishing my next book. They know me personally so it was more of a FB message than a formal query letter. She asked me what it is I want. All I could think of are abstract ideas. NYT Best seller-list, movie rights deals, things like that. Things, I think, all writers want. Maybe all writers don't want it, and if I got over thinking all writers want that I could be okay with wanting them myself. Strange, I know.
This is the way thoughts flow through my mind. Very much pushing against my own desires, like wanting certain things in my life is a bad thing, or that I should be ashamed for wanting them. Which feeds into bouts of depression that for the life of me I do not know how I get lifted out of. I know I do because at the very moment I am not depressed and understand the lunacy of my thought process. If I did know what lifted me, perhaps I could function better, or at least pursue my goals more evenly.
Whatever, on a side note, finally read Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. It's been over 20 years since the movie released and more since the book. There have been articles since the movie released with opinions from the cast and crew saying a movie like that could not be made now-a-days. I do not think they could be more wrong. I think that a movie like Fight Club is still relevant as it was when it started as a 7-page short story. But that is just the opinion of one space monkey.
Take care of yourself. Being kind to yourself is the only way you can be kind to others. Love yourself if you want to love others and have others love you. Talk to someone if you are having issues. Know that despite everything happening in the world today, there are many more good people than bad. It just so happens the bad ones make the news and get elected. Until next week.
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