Let me rant about all the crap flying around with "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and the new inability for people to flirt with each other without it being considered sexual assault. First, I feel I must say that yes, harassment and assault exist. I am not denying that. But going back to when celebrities were suggesting people carry around sexual consent forms for people to sign is about the time society started losing its shit. When you are in college or fresh out, or hell, even 10 or 20 years prior and newly single (or divorced) and back on the prowl, you want to be able to say hello and strike up a conversation without the first words out of the other person's mouth being 'harassment.' I've talked with females who when out, want to have conversations with guys, not with the intention to go bang one out in the bathroom but to find good conversation. And just because someone's genitals dangle doesn't mean their end game is to do the above mentioned.
I think what everyone has forgotten is the subtle art of not being an a$$hat to other people. If you are feeling randy and walking down a back alley and happen upon a passed out drunk girl, DON'T START DRY HUMPING HER. Make sure she is okay and taken care of. If you are at a party and the person you are about to get down and dirty with is drunker than you and can't speak without slurring their words, DON'T STICK YOUR TONGUE DOWN THEIR THROAT. Get that person a Gatorade or water. Let's take it down a few notches. If you are at a nightclub or a bar and you try making eye contact with someone and they don't return the gesture after you know they saw you, DON'T BE A CREEPER and keep staring. Look away, enjoy some conversation with the friend you came with. If you approach a girl, or guy, that hasn't seen you and they turn away or if you try to dance with someone who turns away or says 'no thanks' or anything to that effect, DON'T BE A CREEPER.
Here's what I am trying to get at. Read subtext, understand the situation you are in, understand the time you live in, most everyone I have ever met wants to know that someone out there finds them desirable. And there are acceptable ways to show your budding feelings to a stranger you think might be a connection on some level. But being an a$$hat is not one of them. Don't take advantage of people. Don't touch people that you don't know, hell don't touch people you do know. Let me just sum that one up with if you want to touch someone, go into the privacy of your own bathroom or bedroom and touch yourself. But in private, not a public place like the 'L' train in Chicago. You see someone across the room and they have your eyes, try giving them a smile and nod or a raise of your glass. Leave it at that and let things happen as they will. I am not giving pick up advice or anything. I'm simply showing that there are ways to meet people that don't include carrying around sexual consent waivers or raping people against dumpsters.
If you aren't sure what appropriate social behavior is, ask yourself these...Will I end up in court or on the news? Will I hurt the other person either emotionally, physically, or both? Will I be in contact with someone's flesh who doesn't want to be in contact with mine? Is what I am doing going to make my mom proud? The only question that should be answered yes is that last one. Unless making her proud would answer yes to the other questions, Then all of them should be answered 'no.'
So, I'll sum it up by bringing it back around to Baby, It's Cold Outside. When the song was written the lines were not and are still not creepy. The woman is not trying to get away. She's being coy in order to take control of her sexuality. If you don't understand why... research societal norms at the time. Look up the word context in the dictionary. Everything is life is shades of gray, nothing is black and white. Know how to understand and read the context of a situation. If you want an interactive adventure in learning about what context is, play Conker's Bad Fur Day on N64.
But again, it all comes down to this...DON'T BE AN A$$HAT! Respect each other and smile when you look at someone. Give a nod to a stranger. Say hello to a neighbor. At the end of the day, be someone who adds to the world and makes it a better place, not someone who takes from it.
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